1977, 1978, 1979, 1980, 1982, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1991, 1993, 1994,
1997, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
Maggot email: johno@ctgmt.com
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The only name to wear in Now Open! |
Welcome to the Maggot Page! Click on the links for lots of pictures, stories, news, and nonsense about the Maggots.
In the spring of 1976, a group of
The Maggots uniform is basic black
with white collars, a color scheme that has also been adopted by the
The Maggots play at the
We field two full sides each weekend through the spring and fall seasons, playing other teams from the Montana Rugby Union and visitors from the rest of the rugby world. The Maggots also field an old boys side, "The Flies" (all good Maggots grow up to be Flies), who play less regularly.
Here are a few team photos. More will be added as they surface.\
MRU Cup Champions 2006
State Champions, 1977
Tour to Bahamas, 1980
In Scottsdale, Arizona,
2001
Montana Rugby Union A-Side
Champions, 2001
MRU A- and B-Side Champions,
2001
Montana Rugby Union A-Side Champions,
2002
Montana Rugby Union B-Side Champions,
2002
Kootenai Cup Champions, 2004
The Maggots also tour frequently, traveling to
If you are moving to the
The Missoula All-Maggots RFC is an IRS-recognized tax-deductible nonprofit
organization, and we're always on the lookout for sponsors. Please send us an
email: johno@ctgmt.com or write us at
Take
me back to the top.
The 34th Annual Maggotfest
will be held the
Weekend of May 1-2, 2010
Make your plans to
attend now
Since 1977, the Maggots have hosted a festival-style rugby tournament, held
the first weekend of May. Maggotfest features 36
teams (28 men's and 8 women's sides) from throughout the
Each year the Maggots host a special visiting side and play a
"friendly" match on the Thursday afternoon before Fest. Friday, we'll
take that club out for some Big Sky entertainment, such as floating a local whitewater river. It also gives you the inside
track for the Most Honored Side trophy. Previous guest teams have been top
clubs from exotic locales such as
Click here if your club would like an
invitation to a future Maggotfest.
Alternatively, send us a message to: france@nwf.org
or send snail mail to
For top notch accommodations while at Fest, contact our sponsors at Holiday Inn Missoula or phone toll free 888 465 4329.
I
forgot where I was; take me back to the top.
Practices for the Spring 2010 Season begin on February 16, 2010 and continue every
Tuesday and Thursday at the Ft. Missoula Rugby Pitch at 5:00 PM. In the mean time, keep fit. Players - new and experienced - are
always welcome.
For more information, email us or phone
(406) 829-8246- Jake or 406 – 396 – 0400 -Tom.
All games begin at
Summaries, comments and outright lies about each
match from our crack news team will be available here once the season begins.
Commentaries on some past seasons are also available here, including: Fall 2007, Fall 2006, Spring 2006, Spring 2005, Spring, 2004, Spring 2002,
Summer, 2001, Spring 2001 , Fall, 2000, Spring 2000 , Fall 1999 and Spring 1999.
You will also find
descriptions of some of our tours, including Australia for the 2003 World Cup, Vail, Colorado in the
Summer of 2002 and the UK for the World Cup in 1999.
More Recently, we just returned from Invading France
for RWC 2007! Check it
out.
FALL 2010 Schedule
Spring Record
* Denotes MRU Match
Write Ups by Maggot Ace Reporter - Tex
Date
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Opponent
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Venue
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Results
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9/11 |
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Maggot Pitch – 1:00 p.m. |
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9/18 |
OCTOBERFEST
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9/25
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Kootenai CUP
|
Come on |
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10/2
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Blue Mountain RFC
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Maggot Pitch – 1:00 p.m. |
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10/9
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10/16
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CDA Osprey**
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10/23 |
2010 Tubby Thompson Match
(featuring Butter CRABS)_ |
Maggot Host – 1 p.m. |
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All home games begin at 1:00 at
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Fall |
2010 |
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Maggoty Players |
Position |
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OTTO |
Coach for Life |
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#4, #2, #8 |
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Connor Green “Connor McPumper of the Clan McPumper” |
Prop |
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James Hane – Trojan man |
Prop |
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Anthony “Mud Dog” |
Prop |
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“Papa” |
Prop |
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James Rust - Rusty Jesterville |
Prop |
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Rich “Sodomizer” Sonderman |
Hooker/Flanker |
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Matt Brown – “Brownie Cakes” |
Prop/ Coach |
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Hooker |
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Cookie – via |
#6 |
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#6 |
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Tom “Eat Me/Eat Suck” Duff |
Lock/Flanker/Winger |
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“Southside” Shawn Bailey |
Lock |
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“Amish” Joe Waggett |
Flanker |
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Russ “Fireball” Bortle |
Flanker |
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Andy “Smitty” Smith |
Lock/Flanker |
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Morgan Davies |
Flanker |
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Tupa Faleagafulu
“Tupa Loompa” |
Flanker/Lock |
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Pat “P-Rye” Ryerson |
Lock |
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Brian “Scud” Briske |
Flanker |
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Jared “Venus” Reinhardt ©** |
8-Man |
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John Ries – LAW John |
Prop, Lock, Flank |
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Justin Daniel – “Cabin Boy” |
Lock |
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Mike “ |
Flank, Hook – Grass Picker |
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Dave “Moose” Nearing |
Bus Driver’s Husband |
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Ron “Jon” “Ron Jeremy” Brammer |
Scrumhalf |
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Stefan Ekernas |
Scrumhalf/Wing |
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Jim Kostecki |
Sir/Scrumhalf |
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Saul Steuer |
Fly Hack |
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“Mamma” Chuck Cline |
Flyhalf |
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1-13 Fly |
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Beau Pallister |
Center |
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Ashby Kinch |
Coach, 6-8, 10-15 |
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Chris Coulter “Sluggo” |
Center/Wing |
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Dave "Smoothy" Morrison |
Center |
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Lars Hoof – new guy ® |
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“ |
Fly |
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Collin "Scarecrow" Bishop |
Wing/Flanker |
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Scotty “Scooter” Miller |
Wing |
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Brian “Butba, Bitchba” Taulbee |
Wing |
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Lance “Fancy Pants” Osler |
Wing/Fullback |
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Tanner Pressler |
Wing |
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Kevin Farris – “K-Fed” aka Dewey Grande |
Wing |
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John “Otto” Oetinger |
El Presidente y Winger |
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Ryan Phillips - Goo Pop |
Full Back |
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©** Denotes Current Captain ® Rookie season |
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Now
I'm really lost, take me back to the top.
One tradition the Maggots have kept throughout history is the Maggot Bus, our clubhouse on wheels.
We're currently driving the third incarnation, rolling in style, comfort and
luxury to away matches. The Bus also provides for inexpensive rugby tours, such
as recent trips to the
The last ten feet of seats were ripped out and replaced by the elevated,
carpeted Pit, a favored lounging site
for non-rookies. There's a card room mid-way back, for games of "oh
hell" during those interminable voyages to
Like the game of rugby itself, the Bus is not for the fainthearted. The floors are swept once a year, whether they need it or not (one advantage of this is that you can almost always find a stray Bus beer rolling under the seats - even near the end of a three day trip to Edmonton in '94, brews miraculously appeared from the debris. Bus beers also played a major role in getting us across the Canadian border that trip - but I'm digressing - back to describing the Bus). I imagine the carpet in the Pit was clean once, but nobody can remember it being so. The Bus is also home to the Grunge, a particularly virulent pestilence that has occasionally decimated the team after tours. But, as a famous dead guy once said, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. We can definitely guarantee that you'll never forget the Bus!
Maggot
1. What is the object of rugby?
A. Run as little as possible, make spectacular tackles right in front of the
female spectators, always be in the right spot to
catch a pass for the winning try, then drink beer.
2. How do you score in rugby?
A. Try by day, score by night.
3. How many people are on each team?
A. It takes fifteen to play, but only eight to win.
4. Isn't rugby like American football without pads?
A. Although gridiron is a bastard child of rugby, the two games are very
different from each other. Without a helmet, the head makes a poor weapon
(note: some of the poofters at the IRB are trying to
change this!). As a result, there are far fewer injuries in rugby than in
football. In rugby, even the fat boys run 5-7 miles per game, so your average
prop is in far better shape that an NFL offensive lineman.
5. How come you party after rugby games?
A. The sport is built around camaraderie, and the post-game party is a good way
to relax and get to know your opponents in a friendly way. Let all the
antagonism go and have a few beers with the guys you were just stamping on.
6. Is it more important to have a good time or play lots of rugby at Maggotfest?
A. Both
7. What are the three main things a rugby team needs to remember to win the
game?
A. Possession. Possession. Possession.
8. Isn't there a fourth important point to remember?
A. Yes. Don't get caught!
9. Is it true that the U of Montana Jesters are a lousy, second-rate rugby
team?
A. This is false. They a very good, second-rate team.
10. How come so many women love horses, which are big and dirty and smelly
and stupid and go to the bathroom all over the place, and yet women are highly
critical when men exhibit these same qualities?
A. This question has plagued men who play in the scrum since the beginning of
time. I sure wish I knew the answer!
11. So how do I join the Maggots?
A. Come out to practice, Tuesdays and Thursdays at
Or call
Or drop us an email at the Maggotymail.
Or meet us for a beer at Hammer Jack’s after practice on Thursday.
Now that we've answered some of your questions about rugby, let's see what you know about the sport. Take the Maggot Rugby IQ Test and see if you understand the game the way we do!
Cool,
but where was the table of contents again?
"All the News We Feel Like Printing,(or have time too!) Since 1976 "
Updates, comments, ramblings and other drivel from Maggots the world over.
Updated: 8/28/10
UPCOMING MAGGOTY DATES!!
English Kids
– The is a U-18 English side coming through to play the MT High
School kids that are around and not playing football on Wed. Sept. 1 at the
Jester Pitch at 5:30 p.m. Get there
and watch the MT kids play and meet the POME kids from
Bulls coming to
town – Billings Steers are heading in on Sept. 11. Get to the Pitch and support the lads by
1pm. The last time
PRACTICE dun did started…. Practice is going on Tues. and Thurs. at 5:30
p.m. at the Fort. Get there and
have some fun. Venus, Sol, Eat ME, Beau and a few of the Vets will be running
the show and teaching some skills.
We have a lot to work on this fall to be ready for the spring, because
not only did we lose in the semi’s…..we never got to play
Old News:
Uh, old news is, Maggots used to dominate…. Not so much now….. rebuilding and refilling cups….. Currently. But we’ll be back. And our party is still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than your sausage fest!
Weddings,
Breeding and Funerals ‘10:
Rich married Amy This Summer!!! ….They had another kid. Rich retired this spring. See you Tues. Richy
and on the bus this fall. “I F****** hate you guys!!!”
Smoothy finally made a boy! Congrats to him, Kelly, and the girls on the new addition of Bo/Beau??? Most likely named after the father I guess….Mother and baby are doing fine and Smoothy started and played the whole match last Sat. vs. the Snakes w/ a plethora of knock-ins, so nothing has really changed!
Shane Bob finally Married Kelly this summer! Congrats to the newlyweds.
Bubba got married (again) this summer to lucky gal Kim! Congrats and best wishes to them.
Tory
and
·
Breeding and breeding practice has been going on between the Maggots and our
sister club, Missoula's Betterside ever since rugby,
beer and sex got together in this town. Here's a continually expanding (and
occasionally diminishing) list of those pairing that went legal, in no
particular order:
Smoothy and Kelly
Caveman and Laura
Chad and Jersey
Law John and Susannah
Eat Suck and Rochele
Seattle Dave and Meg Ann
King Bob and Shelly
Bruce Penner and Michelle
Uncle Russ and Diane
Skid and Korey
Bydie and Sue
Wardo and Jeanie
Dega and Tina
Jorge and Rachel
Gabelar and Liz
We will refrain from making editorial comments on those that failed or resulted in the woman becoming a lesbian. Know of others? Send us an email and we'll get this sucker up to date.
· The Maggots' trip to
the Maggot-breeding facility in
Other Maggot News:
· Festers give rugby a good name
We received the following by email shortly after Maggotfest 2003. Thanks to the Canucks involved for aiding a damsel in distress, and for keeping up rugby's good reputation in Missoula.
"I wanted to pass on a thank you to the Canadian Rugby team who helped
me out on Saturday. I have no way of knowing how to get in touch with them but
thought the Maggots might pass this on.
My Suburban died in the Sentinel High School Parking lot on Saturday, May 4. (I
was waiting for my son to return from a track meet.) I got out to tell the
driver in the mini van behind me that he would have to go around me as I had no
power steering. Imagine my surprise when 8 big rugby players piled out of the
mini-van. Next thing I know, the hood is up, one of the guys is in the driver's
seat and they have the broken fly wheel and belt off. They managed to push the
Suburban back into a parking space (I only heard one complaint of "Jeez,
it has to be a f---ing Suburban!!") and that was
that. Oh, one player did ask for a kiss, which he got! And one player
commented, after I thanked them profusely, "No problem, we Canadians are
always glad to help.....except we won't invade a foreign country for you!"
It was truly great to have those guys help me out. I was very impressed with
their friendliness and overall helpfulness and wanted to let someone know!
Thank you "
· The Missing Leprechaun
A popular Missoula family restaurant called Trenary's,
was the scene of a crime of the most heinous nature at last years Fest. The
culprits and criminals: the Red Deer Titans of Cheese head Land, who are too
chicken to show their face at this year's Fest. The poor defenseless victim: A
large and portly wooden Leprechaun. You see, this Leprechaun would frequent
this fine Irish Restaurant and Pub, but he picked a bad night to end up in the
path of the marauding Titans. These crafty and ruthless thugs somehow spirited
the poor chap away against his will and without anyone noticing until it was
too late, they took him home to their crude and savage land. When the Trenary's staff noticed the charming little fellow had
failed to show at his usual spot, they became alarmed. Those nasty Maggot
Festers must be responsible. So they turned to who else, but the valiant
Maggots themselves. We turned to Tom "The Sleuth" France, who is a
renowned tracker of villains and Maggot Attorney (every rugby club needs an
attorney!). With all the wit and determination he could muster, and a few
well-placed phone calls, the trail began to grow warmer. Once the treacherous
outlaws had been identified, it was then the job of Lance "The
Hatchet" Osler to retrieve the poor lad. He drove to Red Deer and faced
down the quivering punks, and got them to spill their guts. The poor dwarf had
been on tour with the Titans to the steps of the Cheesy capital in Ottawa and
even to the Eiffel Tower (France, duh!)! The Hatchet made them drink for their
sins and returned the Leprechaun to the Maggot "El Presidente
por la vida" Otto,
which was then hand delivered to Trenarys. The staff
were very relieved to see that their pal the Leprechaun was returned unharmed
and was glad to have him in his regular spot again.
· We were Rugby Magazine's Team of the Month for June, 2001.
· We got a sorta-nice write-up in the Missoulian during Maggotfest, 2001. Check it out here.
· Check out the page Scottsdale RFC's Joe Loud put together about Maggotfest right here.
· The Maggots took the Most Honored Side
Trophy at the
· Some artwork of primordial Maggots was sent in by Suzanne. Apparently, those ancient guys once had hair! Check out sketches of Jamie Hoffman, Bob Hayler, Sweetheart and Logan in the arms of Suzanne.
· "Leading psychologist" and really old Maggot Hodgey was quoted by the New Zealand Press and Rugby Heaven. Check out what he had to say about women and rugby.
· Here's a blast from the past! A photo
has surfaced of historic Maggots in Formal Wear. The picture was apparently
made in
History Test: Name all the ruggers and the year the
photo was taken, and you will receive a FREE
beer at the upcoming Maggotfest!
(click on the little picture for a link to a larger
version. Duh!)
· We were in the
Here's some additional information on the Hamster/Loeminster match and drinkup from their web site.
· Ever wonder what rugby is like in
Fun and Games Section!
Thanks to our loving “Significant Others” Without
them, we’d not be able to play the game we love
and do the things we love.
· The Ten Commandments of Rugby (feel free hang them on the wall of your clubhouse, bar, county courthouse, etc.)
· An Ode to a Tight Head Prop (a sensitive view of the men who make it all happen)
· A Prop's Testimony to a Back
Son, in this world there are scrums. And in those scrums you need props. Are you willing to do it? As a prop, I have more responsibility than you can ever fathom. You use words like "drunk" and "out of shape"; those words are the very backbone of a life I spent drinking and partying in, and you use them as a punch line. You weep for your wings and centers, and curse the prop forward. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of knowing that the front row, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins these games you play. Truth? You can't handle the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about in your selection meetings, you want me in that scrum; you need me in that scrum. I neither have the time nor inclination to explain myself to a back who scores on the very blanket of ball retention that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just bought me a beer and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you crawl into that scrum and get dirty. Either way, I don't give a damn who you think is responsible.
· Rugby Jokes! (no, not the Bozeman scrum, but almost as laughable!)
· Some deep thoughts from Shecky on each rugby position.
· 
Beer is always a popular topic around
here. Click to see an old Maggot
proverb on the subject (suitable for framing - makes an ideal Mother's Day
present!) or to read a few comments and
quotes on beer.
· If you have any news or comments you'd like to share with the mates, send us an email johno@ctgmt.com and we'll get it posted as soon as we get around to it.
What
does this little up-pointing Maggot icon do?
"It's the same the whole world over
It's the scrum that gets the blame
It's the backs that get the glory
Ain't it all a bloody shame!"
An important tradition in rugby is the after-game party, an opportunity to get to know the other players, with plenty of beverages and the all-important (but often neglected these days) singing of rugby songs. Some are family friendly, but most tend to the bawdy side. Singing is still big with the Maggots, and we can sing with the best and worst of them. But don't bother writing to ask for lyrics - the only place to properly learn a rugby song is by hearing it at a party. So pay attention, join in, shoot the boot a few times, and pretty soon you'll be a Songmeister too. Come for a visit, sing us something new and snappy, and we'll learn you a few verses of "Nancy Reagan".
If you're a Maggot (current or old and useless), send us your email address and get on the Maggotymailing list. Be the first to know each season's schedule! Find out about special club events! Get reminders from Otto about Maggot Meetings! Read about the exploits of Maggots loose around the world! Get in touch with mates you haven't seen since that bus trip back in '79! Write to: the Maggotymailing list.
If you want to join the club, have us host your team while on tour, arrange a match, write about us for the press, or send us a large check for the clubhouse, try these methods:
Email: johno@ctgmt.com or france@nwf.org
Snail mail:
Phone: 406 – 396 – 0400 – Tom Duff - Captain
Phone: (406) 829-8426 –Assistant Coach (and Low Bagger!) –Jake Kreilick
Come out and meet us at the rugby pitch. Practices are held at 5:30 each Tuesday and Thursday.
Links to some of our other favorite sites
Thanks to all our supporters and sponsors who help make Missoula All-Maggot Rugby possible, including these Premier Businesses:
Zips Beverage and Big Sky Brewing
Bodega Bar - 221 Ryman St. Missoula, MT 59802 (406) 549-0435
These are the fine folks who
provide server space for this silly site.
Carhartt and Walls insulated coveralls (they don't give us any money, but we sure appreciate them anyway!) And Copenhagen Tobacco needs to give us some dough, cause we give them plenty….every week!
Sponsors wanted! We're always looking for donations from companies and people with too much money who are looking for a tax break. We're an IRS-recognized tax-deductible nonprofit organization, so you can write off your donation, and we'll all be happier.
We'll also give you free advertising on this here world famous Maggotpage. As an example, a few years ago a Montana rugby club (rhymes with "Billings") was bought out by a "small" brewing company that gave them snappy windbreakers and stuff. We're always looking for handouts too, so we put together this promo shot as an example of the quality PR our crack propaganda staff is capable of.
All kidding aside, we are serious about wanting you as a sponsor. Send us an
email: johno@ctgmt.com or write us at PO
Box 8704,
"Now this is the Law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky; and the Wolf that keeps it may prosper, but the Wolf that breaks it must die. As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk, the Law runneth forward and back... For the Strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the Strength of the Wolf is the Pack." - Rudyard Kipling
"Frontpage? We don't
need no stinkin' Frontpage
programs!"
The Maggot Page was written from scratch with a miniscule amount of knowledge
and a lot of plagiarism and trial 'n' error by Doc, with help from Li'l John and Otto and maintained by Bill the Bull.
If you have any comments, suggestions or complaints, send them through the MaggotyMail (johno@ctgmt.com)
and we might read them.
